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I Had the Gift (?) of Pain
My Leukoplakia Journey, Pentecost, and Ice Cream!
IN THIS ISSUE
LARRY’S LEUKO LOGBOOK 6: The Gift (?) of Pain
TRAILMIX: Walnut Ice Cream Pie
SOULPRINTS: Pentecost! The Spirit in Process Theology
LARRY’S LEUKO LOGBOOK 6: The Gift (?) of Pain
I’ve shared five chapters of my journey with the pre-cancer Leukoplakia. I tell what’s happened, share some lessons learned, and reflect on larger issues of theology. You can read all of the previous chapters HERE. I hope you will share the story with someone who is dealing with chronic illness and needs the encouragement from a fellow traveler.
On the last day of a vacation to Italy, Jan and I stood on the sidewalk in Sorrento, eager to catch the express bus to the airport in Rome. The bus stop was on the sunny side of the street, so I suggested we stand with our luggage in the shade across the street. The wait lengthened but finally the bus roared down the street, paused across from our wildly waving hands—and roared on! I walked around the corner, hoping it had stopped. No luck. We were left standing, stunned and unsure of our next move, a long way from our ride home to Texas.
I had the same feeling in January 2025 when I left the surgeon’s office with his curt dismissal, “I don’t know what to do for you.” He had no treatments to suggest for the painful lesions of leukoplakia on my tongue that had persisted after the first oral surgery. I felt left behind with my disease as the bus of my hopes roared past.
What to do?

Image by geralt on pixabay.com
I immediately contacted another local ENT but was not accepted to his care. What now? The answer came from my physician son, Drew. He directed my attention to an article on the disease written by a specialist at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Dr. Mark Chambers had been working with leukoplakia patients for years as Professor and Investigator in the Head and Neck Department. With Drew and Jan urging me on to do something, I placed a call for an appointment on February 10. My Valentine’s gift on the 14th was an intake call with a nurse at the world-renowned cancer center. In contrast to Italy, we were on the bus for this adventure!
The time to act had come
A biopsy performed days later showed the leukoplakia was “cancer in situ,” or one step away from invading the deeper cells of my tongue. If allowed to continue developing, those cells would become oral cancer. The time to act for a remedy had come.
Dr. Chambers offered wonderful, attentive care on my first visit to Houston. There was no question that another surgery would be needed. I met with the Chair and leading head and neck surgeon at the Center, Dr Jeff Myers. His examination revealed the disease had spread to the base of my tongue. A larger surgery would be necessary, including having a pathologist present in the OR to make sure all the cells were excised.
Does pain have any real value? Only emotionally twisted personalities would say they like pain. Our nervous system is fine-tuned to withdraw instantly from the hot dish that burns our finger or the halt our movement with the back muscles stab with too much strain. I fully admit to being wimpy! Living with chronic tongue pain for two years was way too much. But pain plays a vital role in our health. It is the essential warning system to sound an alarm that demands our attention. Philiip Yancey interviewed many medical researchers to conclude, “The pain network performs daily protective service. It is effectively designed for surviving life on this sometimes hostile planet… Pain is not God’s great goof. It is a gift—the gift that nobody wants!”[1]
It was pain that had driven me to seek treatment. I probably would avoid oral cancer if all went well. I wasn’t going to miss this bus.
Dreading my second and larger glossectomy but eager to get the proper treatment by a world-class physician, I scheduled the procedure for April 29, 2025.
[1] Philip Yancey, Where is God When it Hurts. Zondervan Publishing 1977. P 29
TRAILMIX: Walnut Ice Cream Pie
This recipe was given to me by a wonderful preacher's wife. It is a delightful, summer dessert that can be made ahead of time. —JanMaree
INGREDIENTS
2 egg whites. ½ c. sugar. 1 ½ c. walnuts, chopped
PREPARATION
Beat egg whites until stiff, slowly adding sugar until very stiff. Fold in walnuts. Spread in buttered 9 or 10” pie pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Cool. Fill with vanilla ice cream and return to freezer. Top with Caramel Sauce when serving.
Caramel Sauce
½ c. butter. 1 c. brown sugar. ½ c. cream. 1 t. vanilla
Melt butter with brown sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and slowly stir in cream. Return to heat and bring just to boiling. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla and serve.
SOULPRINTS: Pentecost! The Spirit in Process Theology
For Pentecost Sunday, here is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Faithful Living in the Quantum Age. Process Theology expands the Biblical truth of the Spirit working powerfully in our lives moment-by-moment. Be filled!
The Lukan narrative about Pentecost describes a physical experience with a strong wind and “tongues of fire” coming upon the believers in Jerusalem.[1] Scientifically, it may be a description of St. Elmo’s Fire, an atmospheric phenomena of plasma becoming visible in an electrically charged atmosphere.[2] This was interpreted by the Apostles as the Spirit of God gifting the people with a greater spiritual power to spread the message of Jesus the Messiah.
How did they understand this “Holy Spirit” and what can we make of it today?
“God is spirit,” said Jesus to the inquisitive Samaritan woman.[3] His teaching, as narrated by the Johannine editors, conveys a common view of the ancient world describing God’s existence with a different “substance” than the physical world. The word for “spirit” was used by Greeks for centuries before the time of Jesus. “Pneuma” was a basic substance of the world described by the Stoics.[4] God and spiritual creatures were made of an intangible, invisible, yet powerful element completely different than the physical universe. A similar meaning is found in 1 Corinthians 15:44, as Paul differentiates the spiritual body of the afterlife from a physical one. The ancient worldview of all Near Eastern societies held that God, angels, demons, and the resurrected Jesus exist in a different form and realm from all other creatures who are “flesh and blood.”

Image by MS Designer
The view of the ancient world which believed spirits ruled earthly affairs has been rejected in the Quantum age. Science has supplied sufficient physical causes for events in the universe. There is no place for any spiritual substance or being which cannot be measured by scientific instruments. Autopsies reveal the natural causes for sudden deaths and animals can be stampeded by lightning. How can the ancient worldview of a spiritual world connect to the worldview of the Quantum Age?
Process Theology offers a Biblical and philosophical perspective for the worldview of today. The core truth recognizes that God and all entities in the universe share a single reality of existence that may be viewed from two directions. Every entity in the universe has the capacity to experience events with two inseparable facets: an internal, non-sensory one and an external sensory one. All entities experience life in these twin dimensions as a sequence of occasions which continues moment-by-moment.
Process theologians teach that God is intimately related to every entity in this dipolar universe, sharing in both dimensions in every experience across the universe. Humans sense the work of God within the mind and call it “spiritual.” That is true, yet not the entire story of Reality. Every experience has an internal, “spiritual,” dimension which is intertwined with the brain and body. God’s communication infuses all entities and experiences in the internal, non-sensory dimension, invisible to the senses yet profoundly real.
The words of Jesus helped the Samaritan woman to understand that God was not only in Jerusalem or the temple in Samaria but intertwined with every place and every person. With this unified understanding encompassing every experience, we can say worms live in a spiritual reality, dolphins live in a spiritual reality, humans live in a spiritual reality, and God is the ultimate Spiritual Reality, presenting input to every experience in the universe. “God is spirit” expresses the truth that all the universe and God are united in dynamic relationship which is both a sensory and non-sensory Reality.
For the believer, every moment can sense the possibilities offered by God, inviting our choice to follow and be transformed. Fear can give way to boldness, grievance can turn toward forgiveness, or a meditative moment morph into a divine vision. God is ever-active in the process of luring our mental constructs towards the best possibilities of the moment, giving us a choice to create the thoughts, words, and actions of our life. Every moment can be a Pentecostal encounter with the Spirit who is embodied in us “filling us” for new works with God!
[1] Acts 2:1-4
[2] Julia Layton, “What is St. Elmo’s Fire?” How Stuff Works. https://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/st-elmo-fire.htm
[3] John 4:24
[4] Colin Brown, Ed., Dictionary of the New Testament, Vol 3. Zondervan, 1978.
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